To be or not to be.....

No matter where you go today, you'll always see couples. Either their the "standard" heterosexual couples, then you see the homosexuals and well.. sometimes you see people who you just have to look at... you know what I mean right? Those outrageous couples, who you can look at for 20 minuets flat and still wonder who was the boy and who was the girl..

Anyways... Now what I wanted to let off my chest today: Should I yearn to be a part of the oh go happy lucky or should I just stay single.

You know.. I'm not the kinda girl who likes to be tied down ( as in having to deal with a better half all the time), I'm used to my freedom and I'm used to doing what I like and what I want without thinking about someone elses feelings. Last night someone asked me a question; "Why are you still single Mina?" *Pang* right there. Shit! You know.. It's not because of the question I was set back. It was more the tone in her voice. You know.. Just because you're in a relationship that has lasted longer then one night please, don't go take that tone with me. The " yeah....you should do what I did, but did you?" But I'm a nice person,...right well at that time I just said " Always" and hey who would have guessed that right next to me one of my best friends said "heck yeah" laughing giving me a high five.

I felt good then. I just can't help it. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean I want to be. Anyways I'm sidetracking as usual aren't I? Well you know.. I don't really feel like having a better half when I sit here and type this.. It's more when I go to bed, and when I wake up in the morning. When I sit by myself and have brunch. That's when I wish I just had someone to talk to about things you know. To hold around, to kiss softly on the lips even tough I know he has morning breath and is half way in a coma.

My mum always ask me when I get home from parties ( usually the next day; " Did you see any guys you like?" Woaaaah horsie stop right there. I hate it when she asks and every time, even though if I've snogged someone, fucked someone or just slept with someone just so I know I have a pillow under my head, I HATE THAT QUESTION WITH A FUCKING PASSION. " No mom.. I didn't" I ALWAYS grumble. You know.. Even if I did I wouldn't tell you. My last relationship went to hell and back and to hell again and stayed there ( thank god). Communication, or rather the lack of it crumbled it until I saw that I only held on to him because well.. I don't really know. I'm happy that it ended though tbh. My mum didn't. Gawd.. Mums the next to greatest pain in the arse. I don't know if I'm just disappointing her, or if she's concerned.

It's not that I hate men.. I just don't need them in my life as a partner right now. I'm to much in love with myself if I can be so shallow to say. All I want right now is a shag...... xD